


The Five Senses

by KatcadeCascade (DreamWings231)



Category: gen:LOCK (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Gen, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Missing Scene, Pre-Time Skip, Senses, mild body dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 08:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17639669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamWings231/pseuds/KatcadeCascade
Summary: It feels like he’s not really there.He doesn’t feel much either, just the liquid in the Holon pod and the glass separating him and the world.





	The Five Senses

**Author's Note:**

> Can I just say that I love one (1) blue boy

The first thing Julian got back was his sight.

Looking around shouldn’t hurt but there’s an ache in the back of his eyeballs. He wants to massage them but only one hand comes up to his face. Liquid is all around him, swishing around as he instinctively checks his surroundings.

He sees that he’s in a lab but it takes a second longer to realize the clean glass and the blue liquid around him.

“Julian Chase,” an old man walked into frame. “Breathe in and breathe out.” He guides Julian into steady breathing. Again he didn’t realize that his heartbeat is thumbing wildly in his ears.

Hearing becomes too focused as the man introduces himself as Dr. Rufus Weller.

With his heartbeat even, Julian notices that tubes and wires attached to him. Speaking with Dr. Weller is just like a phone call. His voice is directly in his ears and when Dr. Weller walks around Julian sadly acknowledges that his voice doesn’t follow him.

It feels like he’s not really there.

He doesn’t feel much either, just the liquid in the Holon pod and the glass separating him and the world.

Dr. Weller helps him readjust to his situation. He’s legally KIA and this gen:LOCK program might be his only way to come back to his friends and family. To Miranda.

There’s also the fact that he gets to be a giant robot but that’s only funnels as a distraction.

As the good doctor explains it, his brain and consciousness are uploaded into the Holon. Julian is able to stand and he tries not to think about his missing legs. He’s able to move in what feels like a better body and not the one in stasis. His mind is aware of the gun on his side and as he uses it he doesn’t feel the weight of it, only the quantifying data that it should be heavy.

He sees and hears maybe ten times better than before but he cannot _feel_.

There’s a few times where Dr. Weller talks him down from a panic attack. It never happens when he’s in the Holon, only in the tube where his mind rushes as he thinks about all his missing parts.

Julian is half gone. There are phantom pains telling him that his legs should be kicking, that there should be two hands banging on the glass. He can’t imagine what Miranda or anyone else would think if they see him shaking and breathing hard and crying because everything about him is broken.

Dr. Weller tells him that he’s not though, that he’s still the brilliant and brave man that saved New York.

A part of him knows to believe that but the other part remembers that the doctor had no answer when Julian asked what happened to his family.

Later on, Yasamin Madrani joins the picture. She learns the obvious parts of his story and it takes time to learn hers. He tells her about Miranda in the meanwhile, how she’s strong and the one to ask him out first and how she decked him during training.

At this point, Julian likes to think he and Yaz are friends now that they are a robot fighting team.

So he asks one day, “What does it smell like?”

There’s a balcony viewing in the labs, it’s where Julian always finds Yaz when she wants to get away from the doctor. She’s leaned over the railings and he sees the wind move her hair. He rather watched the movement than just checking a weather report.

“Fresh and clean,” Yaz said, knowing she’ll have to be more descriptive for his hologram sake. “I can barely smell the oil from here or Dr. Weller’s tea.” She closes her eyes when the breeze ruffles up her hair, “It’s refreshing and calm, Chase.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly and, because he’s a hologram, he jumps up to sit on the railing. “Usually I’d be scared to be this high up but I can’t really fall.”

Yaz rolls her eyes and sits on the railings as well. She has a tight grip on the metal to keep her steady while Julian has his hands in his lap.

“You don’t usually do this,” she said. “You still apply limitations to yourself. Nothing’s stopping you from walking on the ceiling.”

“I want to be human. I mean I still am human but,” Julian doesn’t finish. Instead he asks, “What does the wind feel like?”

“Chilly and rubbing my face,” she answers and he sees her eyes squint a little at him. She only does that when she realizes she can partially see through him. “The sun is warm though.” He’s about to say something but she cuts him off. “Chase, you don’t have to keep thanking me for telling you stuff.”

“Right but, I just, I’m glad you’re not like pitying me or something.”

“Chase, seeing you like this and like that,” she nods her head back to the lab, “it does make me sad but I won’t treat you like you’re different. You’re not,” she hesitates but Julian can make a guess as she out right says it. “You’re not dying, especially not on my watch.”

He breathes in the air he can’t feel and smiles at Yaz, “Can I say thank you now?”

“Fine, I am grateful,” she says it like she’s annoyed but small upward twitch in her lips say otherwise. Then she glares at him and risks one hand off the railings to poke into his chest, “But if you ask me to describe horrible smells or disgusting foods I will break your arm.”

Julian can’t even remember the last thing he ate. It pains him to remember his last chat with his family.

“Harsh,” he said and he doesn’t feel threated. “I would never put in that kind of position. The doctor on the other hand, he might need a physical body to test weird shit out.”

“Don’t remind me,” Yaz groans and carefully sets her feet back on the balcony. “Come on Chase, time to get back in your cyber-dome.”

“See, we need to get that to catch on.”

He moves his body to appear next to her, walking at her pace. Maybe he’ll test out this whole ‘no physics apply to him’ thing later.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
